Monthly Archives: November 2005

No maternal instinct

Posted on November 21, 2005 by | Comments Off

Winston is on a diet. Both our animals seem to be gaining weight since I started working. Maybe they are stress eaters. We’ve decided to go with a calorie-restriction diet. Winston follows me around during every waking hour (and sometimes the sleeping hours too) voicing his complaints about his empty food dish. “Meeeeoooow. MEOW!” He displayed his usual theatrics tonight while I made dinner. Perhaps I should point out that Winston is already eating diet food and has been for almost a year. Diet food is a failure. He loves it. Anyway, I finally relented and went over to Winston’s dish to give him a little dinner. It turned out that he had thrown up right next to his empty dish. So not only was he starving to death, but he also wasn’t feeling well. Meanwhile, I’m calling him chubby and telling him he should lose weight before people start making fun of him. Such guilt! I apologized profusely. But I know cats tend to hold grudges. If anyone asks why I have no children, well, there you have it. I’m already a horrible mother to a cat and a dog.

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Posted in Winston

A Superpower

Posted on November 19, 2005 by | Comments Off

Ah, math. I generally shudder at the word. I was paying bills tonight, which in itself is a problem. A journalist (who took no math in college) marries an engineer. Who would be the logical person to deal with bill-paying and checkbook-balancing? Me, apparently. Anyway, I was balancing the checkbook and had to deduct a $4.00 check. I used the calculator. I punched five buttons instead of doing the math in my head. Greg saw this and shouted “Go, America! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!”
And yes, I do edit math textbooks for a living. Be afraid for the children. Be very afraid.

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Posted in Humble pie

On my way…

Posted on November 18, 2005 by | Comments Off

Our office manager, Chandra, brings her yellow lab named Duke into the office almost every day. Duke has a nice cage and bed next to Chandra’s desk, but he often hangs out in my work cube all day. Why? I occasionaly give him a dog biscuit. Food goes a long way with dogs. How far? Duke no longer comes when Chandra calls him. He’ll only go when I tell him to. Also, when I go home at night, he tries to come with me, going as far as walking in the stairwell with me to leave. Of course, I don’t take him with me, but tell him to go back, which he does. All this because of a biscuit a day, and sometimes only half a biscuit. I don’t walk him or pick up his poop, but somehow I’ve managed to become his leader.

I have started my rise to the grand exalted position of king of the dogs.

There are three other dogs in the office that I’m trying to win over now. Why isn’t Abe in the office? Because, he also wants to be king of the dogs and I can’t have the competition.

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Posted in Abe