You wake up early in the morning, use the bathroom, and then stumble back toward the bed to spend a few minutes snuggled under the covers. Your husband lays in bed, still half asleep, and your darling dog has jumped into bed. It’s a perfect picture, just what you imagined marriage would be. But wait, why does your dog look so, well, soggy?
“Greg, why is Abe’s head wet?”
“Maybe he was licking it,” Greg says, wishing you would let him go back to sleep.
“How could he lick the top of his head?”
You sniff the matted fur.
“No, I’m pretty sure he wasn’t licking himself. Something happened to him.”
You wander into the game room, where the cat has thrown up on the carpet, and, it would seem, on the dog’s head.
Yes, this is just how you imagined marriage would be.