A death wish?

For lunch yesterday, I sent Greg to work with some leftover pork tenderloin and some applesauce. When he arrived home from work, he hadn’t finished the pork, so I put it in the fridge.

“You might not want to save that,” Greg said. “It hasn’t been refrigerated.”

“Then I definitely don’t want to save it,” I said. “You didn’t put it in the fridge after lunch?”

Greg didn’t respond. After dinner, we sat down in the family room and started reading.

“I don’t think that pork is good,” Greg said.

“Yes, I know it’s not good,” I said. “You already told me that.”

Greg rubbed his stomach and slid down on the couch.

“Oh, you mean it wasn’t good at lunch?” I asked. “It wasn’t that old. It should have still been good. Unless … Greg, did you not refrigerate the pork before lunch?”

“I don’t like walking into the break room in the morning,” Greg said. “But it only sat out for a half hour.”

“So you got to work at about 10, right?” I asked. “And then you ate that pork for lunch at 10:30?”

“No,” Greg said shyly. “12:50.”

“Greg! You let that pork sit out for three hours and then ate it?! Of course you’re sick! Why didn’t you put it in the refrigerator?”

“It’s too much work,” Greg said. I should mention that the refrigerator at Greg’s office is about 25 feet from his desk, which apparently is too far to walk.

“So you aren’t refrigerating anything I send to work with you?” I asked in disbelief. “Well, this is going to totally change what I give you for lunch. If you think you’re taking those Chinese leftovers tomorrow, you can forget it.”

“What? Why? I should get to take those!” Greg said.

“Greg, did your mother knock any sense into your head?” I asked.

“I don’t eat off the floor,” Greg said shyly.

“You should,” I said. “You would be better off taking the pork out of the fridge, dropping it on the floor, and eating it. That would be better than eating pork you haven’t refrigerated. Do you know how much bacteria was growing on that? Are you trying to kill yourself? You know you’ve eaten so much bacteria that you’re going to develop immunity. You’ll be like those guys who can drink cyanide without it affecting them.”

“I’m Superman!” Greg said.