Everyone is messin’ with Texas

I talked to my brother, Dan, a few days ago. He lives in Colorado, which he loves, and is about to start a new job. I was updating him on things here and telling him about the job I’m about to start (another textbook gig). And that’s when he impatiently blurted out “So when are you moving out of Texas?”

Well, Dan, seeing as how Greg has a good job here and I’m about to start a new job, we have not yet made plans to leave the state. I also told Dan that we still have boxes left over from our move. It feels like we’ve just started to settle into our house. We at least want to spend a little time here after the struggle we went through to find a house.

Dan has never visited Texas, and he lives in the neatest state in the whole country so he has the typical negative impression of Texas. I have that impression a lot of the time too — way too many big trucks and crazy accents — but I’m giving Texas some more time. I don’t want to make any snap judgments, and Greg feels the same way.

Or at least I thought Greg felt the same way. We noticed this morning that we have oak-leaf caterpillars hanging from the giant oak tree in our backyard. I called to have it sprayed by an arborist, but he hasn’t worked us into his schedule. The caterpillars form a web that extends from tree to earth, and they eat the leaves off your oak trees. And as we left on a walk this evening, we took a minute to locate all the fire-ant hills in our yard. As soon as Greg knocks them out of one location, they rebuild elsewhere in our yard. We are probably going to have to spray something on the grass to kill them, which is a nuisance. Then, as we were returning from our walk, I pointed out a bush of ours that is being eaten by some sort of insect. We can’t see any insects on it, but the leaves are disappearing. This is about the third time since we’ve moved here that Greg has had to spray the bushes with insecticide. Well, that munched-up bush was the straw that broke Greg’s back.

“Texas sucks!” Greg proclaimed madly. “Your brother was right. We need to move away from here.”

It’s been clear to me from the beginning that humans aren’t meant to live in Texas. If we ever should be caught off guard — without our bug spray — we will be eaten alive.

5 thoughts on “Everyone is messin’ with Texas

  1. Awww, it’s not that bad! There are insects everywhere. Now if air conditioning hadn’t been invented, then I would agree that humans weren’t meant to live in Texas. ;)

  2. Hehe. Life would certainly be hell here without the air conditioning.

    But, while insects are everywhere, they’re not as evident or as big in other places. Plus, most insects elsewhere aren’t trying to kill you.

    These ants, that currently number in the thousands in our yard, leave welts the size of a dime when they bite you. And then there are the scorpions and the spiders the size of an oatmeal cream pie. I never thought my dog might be eaten alive in our yard back in Illinois.

    No, Texas definitely sucks.

  3. I was really looking forward to a time when we could come and visit you two. Hmmmm….scorpions, killer ants, catepillars (they make my skin crawl),…maybe we could just plan to meet somewhere between here and there…anyone up for Little Rock, Arkansas?

  4. Hi Greg! :) Austin must have gotten all the scorpions–I don’t think we have any. Now that we are in a house though, I do see the downside of fire ants. Ick. And living by a bayou? Lots of mosquitos. (hee hee, here it’s a bayou, not a river or stream, of course)

  5. Mmmm Texas.
    Them northerners dunno hwat they be talkin’bout.

    Another way to look it at: you got wildlife in your yard! Get a camera with 20x zoom and start recording the insects in action. Maybe get it onto discovery channel?

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