We had a fire drill today at work. If you’re having a fire drill in June in Texas, you might want to stay inside because you have a better chance of surviving the flames than the deadly rays that will vaporize you as the exit the air-conditioning. I work on the sixth floor, and even though I was the first employee on my floor to start descending the stairs, it took me several minutes to make it outside. I had to wait for the hordes of people on all the lower floors to clear out.
In elementary school, the fire safety videos always said that if you weren’t out of the burning building within the first few minutes, you would die of smoke inhalation. So I guess in our fake fire today, everyone from the fourth floor upward would have become toasted marshmallows. Fortunately, we survived. And when we got outside, management had arranged for an ice cream cart to be waiting. Everyone got a couple free scoops of the best ice cream in town. I guess that was management’s way of saying, “We’re sorry you face imminent death. But while you’re still alive, do you prefer strawberry or Belgian chocolate?”
I chose the Oreo. But I fear all that ice cream will make our next trip down the stairs even slower.