Donald Duck style

My mom is a shortie. She always said she was 5’2″, but I don’t know if she ever quite made it to that mark on the tape measure. So when I was about 13 and finally surpassed her in height, she was excited. She told me it would be so much easier to find clothes because I was an average size, whereas she always felt like she was shopping in a land of giants. If only I were average …

I know that most people are struggling to lose weight and will hate me for saying this, but stores have got to start making some smaller clothes. I’m 5’4″, which is the average height for an American woman, and I cannot buy pants. I tried on seven pairs of pants today, and none of them fit. I need pants that are about 30″ long, but the average pant length now is between 33″ and 34″ long. I finally found a pair of pants cut for short people. Hoorah! But they were still too long. Even if I wore stiletto heels, they would be too long. I know because I stood on my tiptoes.

I can hear all of the tall people saying that I should just have them shortened. That costs money though. That will add $10 to the cost of the pants. Plus, I like flared pants, and when you hack the bottoms off you ruin the flare. And I don’t know if I should mention the sizing issure here, but stores also keep changing their sizes to accommodate bigger people. So even though my body has stayed the same size since high school, I’ve dropped two clothing sizes. I’m becoming concerned that I will fall off the size chart eventually. I am serious.

Just to give everyone warning, I may have to stop wearing pants. I’m going to dress like Donald Duck, just the shirt, nothing on the bottom. If a Disney character can get away with it, why can’t I?

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