December 2007


The cheater

After opening our Christmas presents yesterday, Greg and I went for a walk with Abe. Greg asked if liked my gifts. I told him I did, but I couldn’t understand how he bought all that stuff for $100.

Greg and I agreed to spend no more than $100 on each other. We did this last year, and it was great. It eliminates the stress of trying to top your gift from the previous year, and it’s good for the budget. But the cashmere sweater Greg bought me seemed pretty suspicious.

“I don’t understand how you could have gotten me that sweater,” I said. “I think you busted the budget.”

“That sweater was from Abe and Winston,” he said. “Their names were on the gift tag.”

“Well, in that case, I think Abe and Winston are knocking over stores,” I said. “Where would they get the money to buy that sweater?”

“Abe has been moonlighting as a security guard for our neighbors,” Greg said.

“Then who’s guarding our house?” I asked.

“Winston has picked up some of the slack,” Greg said. (In truth, I’m much more scared of Winston than Abe anyway.)

“And Winston is selling some of his fur to, umm, bald cats,” Greg said.

“You mean like sphynx cats?” I asked.

“Yes!” Greg said, looking relieved that I had helped him out with his lie. I would be upset about Greg’s lying, but it’s hard to be mad about a cashmere sweater.

Happy Holidays!

 

Christmas 2007
We dangled a juicy steak to the left.

Oh, the torment

As soon as we put up our Christmas tree, I wrapped Greg’s presents and tucked them beneath it. Greg had yet to place any of my gifts under the tree. And, yes, I know this isn’t because he was slow to wrap them but rather because he just didn’t have anything for me. When I got home last night, a couple gifts had finally made an appearance under the tree.

Even better, however, was my lumpy stocking. I finally caved in this year and bought us some stockings, figuring maybe we could sneak some candy in there on Christmas morning. Greg apparently couldn’t wait for Christmas morning. I asked him if the gift in the stocking was wrapped, and he said it wasn’t. What a horrible thing to say! Now I’m here on my own all day while Greg is at work, and he’s trusting me to use the honor system? I keep gazing at that stocking, thinking maybe I should slide something into Greg’s stocking and “accidentally” knock mine down in the process so the gift tumbles out.

The worst part is that the gift probably is wrapped and Greg just said it wasn’t to torture me. Maybe I could just peek to see if it’s actually wrapped. Hmm…

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