In the past few months, news sources have run several competing essays and stories about the best age at which to get married. People who attend college and grad school are marrying later, and a lot of people with less education aren’t marrying at all. There’s a lot of back and forth about what is best for careers and raising children. The New York Times ran this long article about college students who don’t want to participate in relationships until they’re settled in their careers and lives. They don’t want to commit to someone who is bound to change.
I planned to get married when I was in my late 20s, after I finished my education and worked my way up to a good job. What I didn’t plan on was meeting the guy I wanted to marry when I was 20. And knowing — nearly from our first date — that he was the guy. That guy had his own plan, which didn’t seem to mesh all that well with my plan, but we valued each other more than those plans.
I probably would have had a better career had I not married Greg. He probably would have had a better career had he not married me. We each made compromises. What I know now is that I would have made compromises no matter when I married.
Few of us live in the same town our whole lives, and even fewer stay at the same job. Change — sometimes dramatic, sometimes subtle — is constant. How boring this life would be if we all stopped growing and dreaming! When you marry the right person, change is a welcome thing. I want Greg to always strive toward the best version of himself, and he wants the same for me. I probably could have spared myself a few compromises by marrying later, but I would have given up the person who dreams bigger for me than I dream for myself.
Happy 10th anniversary, Greg. Thank you for building this beautiful life with me.
(I would love to pretend that we just took this photo, but it’s from our honeymoon. We were pretty adorable.)