Change

Posted on October 20, 2011 by Sarah| 2 Comments

I think I mentioned here before that I would be losing my job. I learned in April that the work that I do (along with 15 or 20 co-workers), would be outsourced to a different newspaper sometime next year. Or the work might stay here, but we would all be laid off and have to re-apply. I am lucky enough to work part-time, and I knew that only full-time positions would be left.

I felt OK about losing my job though because we were getting ready for Genevieve’s arrival. I planned to stay home with her for a few months and then begin the job search when I felt ready. We know how that turned out. I couldn’t really see any way to justify my staying home when I still had a job waiting for me, so I returned to work. But I have lost interest. I think the problem is partly all of the cost-cutting going on in the news world and partly that my priorities are different.

Sunday will be my last day at work. What next?

I plan to stay home with Eleanor for a couple of months, soaking up all of her 2-year-old-ness while I can. Part of me wants to stay home with her until she starts kindergarten. She is becoming increasingly social though, and I know that she gets bored being home with me so much. Soon there will be preschool and other activities taking her out into the world, and I will have less and less to do at home.

So I plan to return to school. To be a nurse. I think.

I have always regretted that I didn’t become a doctor. If I could go back to age 18 with the knowledge I have now, I think that’s what I would do. But I’m not 18, and I have a family that I want to spend time with, so I’m choosing this path.

Most people want to get out of the hospital as quickly as they can. But every time I’m in the hospital, I think about how I wish I worked there. (Those people wear scrubs to work every day!) And when I try to make sense of Genevieve’s death, which of course will never truly make sense, I always come back to nursing. I can help other people going through a crisis because I know now. I know.

I am scared at the many years of school ahead of me, but school won’t be nearly as scary as what I’ve already been through. And I want Eleanor to see that she can always start again, that we have our entire lives to grow.

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Posted in Random acts

Spicy grilled cheese

Posted on October 9, 2011 by Sarah| 2 Comments

Here I go again, making sandwiches much more difficult than they have to be. Everyone in our house adores the standard grilled cheese: bread, butter, cheese. The first time I typed that sentence, I wrote “butter” twice. Double the butter? That’s a fine idea.

This spicy grilled cheese recipe is still easy. I don’t think you can really call it cooking, but it’s a much more adult sandwich. In fact, Eleanor wanted nothing to do with it. It has the tang of cheddar, the heat of chipotle pepppers and a little sweetness from molasses.

We’re not ready to give up the old cheese-and-bread standard yet, but this is a great alternative, and I think you could serve it to guests without feeling silly.

This recipe is from Bon Apetit via Epicurious. This makes six sandwiches.

For the sauce:
1 6-ounce can tomato paste
3 tablespoons chopped canned chipotle chilies
1 tablespoon mild-flavored molasses

For the sandwiches:
12 3/4-inch thick slices sourdough bread
18 ounces extra-sharp cheddar cheese, thinly sliced
4 plum tomatoes, cut into 1/4-inch-thick slices
1 small red onion, thinly sliced
1 cup chopped cilantro
butter for bread

Mix the chipotles, tomato sauce and molasses in a food processor. You can vary the chipotle to your taste. Spread butter on each slice of bread and about 1 tablespoon of the chipotle mixture on the other side. Then stack the cheese, tomatoes, red onion and cilantro. Place the top slice on the sandwich. In a skillet, cook the sandwich over medium heat until it is golden, then flip. If you used a lot of chipotle, have a glass of milk nearby.

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Posted in Mains

Chocolate granola

Posted on October 6, 2011 by Sarah| Comments Off

We were sad to learn about the death of Steve Jobs yesterday, and I’m surprised at how gloomy I feel about this news. I’ve always ranted about technology and all of the problems it causes. But if we must all live with technology, and at this point I think we must, Apple products are amazing. Greg got me an iPad last Christmas, and it is possibly the best gift I have ever received. I can sit on my couch and download a 500-page book in two minutes flat and begin to read. How is that possible? It’s possible because Steve Jobs was here.

I think the sadness comes from my recognition that the man was a genius and was clearly doing what he was born to do. The world would be a far better place if more people were willing to take risks and pursue their dreams as he did.

So if you’re feeling a little down, too, then perhaps you would like to drown your sorrows in a bowl of granola. This isn’t just any granola though. It is homemade granola with chocolate. Granola is so easy to make, and you can customize your flavors so you no longer have to settle for that overly sweet stuff at the grocery store. And chocolate for breakfast? Yes, you should give that a try.

This recipe is adapted from Orangette.

6 cups rolled oats
1 cup raw almonds, chopped
1 cup unsweetened shredded coconut
3 Tbsp. sugar
Pinch of salt
12 Tbsp. mild honey
4 Tbsp. vegetable oil
1 cup finely chopped bittersweet chocolate

Combine the oats, almonds, coconut, sugar and salt in a bowl. Don’t forget to add the sugar lest you be forced to sprinkle it on later (as I did). You might find that you want to dial down the sugar given the sweetness of the chocolate, but you can always do that with your second batch, right? In a saucepan, warm the oil and honey, whisking until the honey thins. Pour over the dry ingredients and mix.

Spread the mixture on two rimmed baking sheets, and bake in a 300-degree oven for 20 minutes. You’ll need to stir the granola halfway through to prevent it from sticking together. Stir it again when you remove it from the oven. When the granola has cooled, add the chocolate. This is technically a breakfast food, but I think it might be good sprinkled on some vanilla ice cream. For breakfast? Well, I don’t know about that.

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Posted in Breakfast